July 23, 2016

Smorgasbord thoughts of Storms: Smores: Shofars & Shabbat

Have you ever had one of those season's... where one storm finally yields to rest, but another is blowing into your horizon? Honestly, it can be hard on a heart and a family to endure one storm after another... true - some of those storms you may have agreed to. Chosen - possibly?

Others... well they are just part of the human journey, they prove the need for Redemption, they shape and alter the course of life's direction... and definition. They bring about a full body realization of what is really important.

I had originally started blogging to journal my family's life, a heart offering for my family. But some where in the documentation came platforms on trite, with a nice fluffy seat in comparison corner. I remember the hours I spent, trying to create the perfect blog look, the ideal post length, some trendy labels and titles... time - that will never be relived again. And for what?

My intent became mire... and at the same time human-NESS gave us - you better make sure that last breathe was deep enough, because it's going to be a while before you can exhale and bring back fresh air...

Years of family photo's were lost, life in posts were deleted... and the process relieved me of one blogging attempt after another. Interrupted. Stopped. I guess the best descriptive would be... we felt 'gut shot'. It's not a pretty term... and this was by no means pretty. Actually, for a short season I had tried to use blogging as an attempt to cope and deal... but really it just made more mire.

And as it wasn't just one event, but a series of events that happened over a short period of collective years that created the life stop. The effects of the stress, went easily ignored at first, but like anything caged... it wanted out. And let me just say that the physical effects of stress and I are very intimate.

We are... or were rather, on a first name basis. No, actually we had nick names for each other. Some of my thoughts on dealing with stress, show up here and there... but why am I sharing this now?

Or even at all?

I could say it's five a.m. and I can't sleep. Which is true, but it's not the full of my reason... you see, this evening my family and I went to the beach. We built a fire and made smores... my husband blew the shofar and we prayed. We watched the Father set his clock by the setting sun.

I took pictures... and exhaled.

My life isn't perfect. It doesn't look like the ideal... honestly, I am not sure what our family does look like, and I don't really care - in the sense of fitting a cookie cutter image. What I do care about is living my life with them, recording it for the generation behind me... should God see fit to ordain that.

To capture what I live, love and learn. To speak life... and to 'yada' with every cell of my body, the fullness of the Word of God and the power of my Messiah. My blog will never be perfectly formatted, my posts will vary in size and topic. My grammar and writing style will be critiqued, my photography attempts assessed and I won't make thousands off my marketing plan... because I don't have one.

I took pictures... and I gave myself permission to be me. To be a Redeemed, blood bought and spirit led me. I gave myself permission to start at the beginning, to let this blog simply be... a reflection of life. Lived.

And I gave permission to forgive myself of all my mistakes, my failures and my short comings. To submit to the designed order of my created being, to confirm and to conform to His way alone. I gave myself permission to let go of the things I can not control... and to rejoice in the things He does.

I took pictures... and created a living memory with my family. And as we were leaving, a verse from the Word came into my remembrance... "And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken". ~ Ecclesiastes 4:12

~ Blessings!

P.S. the rest of the photos will go into our family Project Life book, and I am working to save money to purchase my blog2print books. :) Of course I try to back up my blog on a regular basis and now I am returning to the act of saving our family moments to a photo disk too.

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